How To Help Your Child Become Drug Free

Ch # 4. excerpt:

Parent Denial and Enabling:

When Mark began counseling two months ago, his parents thought they had caught his drug use early. They were aware of his occasional use of marijuana and alcohol; however, during Mark's weekend stay with his mother she became concerned when she overheard her son's phone conversation about how he would obtain beer for a party. She shared her concerns about Mark's part of the phone con-versation with his father and stepmother. Mark's father's immediate response was that she was overreacting. Because Mark spent most of the time at his father and step-mother's house, Mark's dad conveyed with certainty the fact that Mark was just fine. He advised Mark's mother not to make an issue of this incident and assured her that all teenagers use drugs. Mark's mother was not convinced but decided to let the matter go. A few weeks later Mark's report card arrived in the mail at his father's house. His grades had dropped to D's and F's. Alarmed, Mark's dad called the school only to find out that Mark had been cutting classes almost daily and was at risk of not graduating. The vice principal informed Mark's father that he believed Mark was using drugs and suggested he seek a professional evaluation for his son. Mark's father was angry and confused. He decided to search Mark's room. He found a marijuana pipe in Mark's top dresser drawer. That evening, Mark's parents con-fronted him with their discovery. Mark was furious and defensive. He expressed indignation over his father's intrusion into his personal effects and fiercely denied that he had a problem with drugs in spite of his ready admission that he smoked marijuana and drank alcohol at parties. He told his parents that they were making a big deal about nothing. Although his parents believed that Mark did not have a serious drug problem they decided to have him evaluated. Mark was in jeopardy of not graduating with his high school class and his parents worried that if that happened, it would further undermine his already fragile self-esteem. They agreed that it would be in their son's best interest to clear the unexcused absences that he had accumu-lated over the semester. After two months of counseling, Mark's parents discovered that his drug problem was more extensive than they had realized or had been willing to admit. The example of Mark's family is one that is frequently communicated by the clients we serve in our practice. That same example, too, demonstrates the power of the defense mechanism, denial, in both the individual using drugs and parents who must accept and cope with the revelation of their child's problem.

Please feel free to click the links below to read chapter excerpts:

Ch # 1. A Look at the Problem
Ch # 2. The Stages of Drug Use and Their Rapid Progression
Ch # 3. Community Enabling
Ch # 4. Parental Denial and Enabling
Ch # 5. Setting Limits for Your Child
Ch # 6. Your Child in Recovery
Ch # 7. Your Family in Recovery
Ch # 8. Encouragement

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